I saw Catfish and the Bottlemen with my best friend of twenty years. It was incredible. I struggle with fibromyalgia and have done for over a decade now. That, alongside my mental health, has meant that I haven't spent a lot of time going out and having a proper 'teenage' experience. I don't drink or smoke - never have - and have been on anti depressants since I was 16.

That is relevant I promise. Last night, when catfish were on, I was dancing and jumping and screaming as if I had no cares in the world, as if my muscles weren't broken and I didn't feel dizzy all the time. There was a euphoria that I can't explain. Yes, there were times I felt a bit silly and self conscious - isn't that normal? - but I felt so free, happy, and healthy.

For a moment there, I felt like I wanted to be someone else, who had a different life. Who went out drinking on weekends, dancing and then flirting with whoever I found attractive that night, who wasn't afraid of autistic meltdowns or looking silly or being incredibly exhausted or in pain. Of course, I quite like the person I am generally, so it didn't last. Plus I'm taken. But there is a kind of fantasy there that I know I'll never, in reality, experience.

All of this is to say: love catfish, love my friends.